Teenage Angst

Last weekend, I went out with my Mom and Grandma for lunch all the way over to Richmond. For those of you who don't know, Richmond is another city in British Columbia (a twenty minute drive from downtown Vancouver). It's an area that's 90% populated by Asians (specifically Hong Kong immigrants). A lot of my Asian friends choose to hang out there over the weekends. A place covered in arcades (featuring street-racing games) and bubble-tea shops.

We had lunch at a hot pot restaurant called Posh and then went to Aberdeen Centre to shop. Aberdeen caters to the Asian market as well. Almost all their stores sell Asia-inspired items. So it came to my surprise when there were protesters. They were protesting against Pappas Fur. It wasn't surprising that there were protesters, but it was because they were all speaking English. They were screaming things like, "Aberdeen Centre should be ashamed! Close down Pappas Fur!". I understood what they were saying, but my Mom and Grandma had no clue why they were holding up pictures of bloody bones. You may be thinking that they got their message across since I understood. But, the people who actually buy mink coats are a lot older and they don't understand what "ashamed" and "cruelty" mean.

Three short teenagers were standing in front of the mall protesting. *Sigh* Nice try. I'd say that was just plain bad marketing. Before you protesters take out more neon cardboard signs and vegan lunches, re-think the Four P's and try again. Just kidding...sorta.

[related links: I Don't Ever Want To... and PETA]

Sex Tape the Douche Face (Part II)

"A device used to stream water into the body for medical or hygienic reasons."

That's the definition, on Wikipedia, for the word, Douche. A crack head came into my work yesterday. As I was stacking tampons upon boxes of pads and more tampons, she walks up to me. She's shaking, stuttering and rashed-up with scratches all over her body--Her shaggy hair says it all.

"Excuse me...you're...you're...you're probably the last person I want to ask right now...but...but...but...do you know where I could find a douche? I...can't find...find...find...it anywhere."

"Oh, well, I'm here to help".

I have absolutely no idea what a douche is. All these years of calling people a "douche bag" or "douche face"...when really, I had no clue. I knew it had something to do with dousing oneself with something, but I had never actually seen the device or even the box which contains the device. So there I was, standing two meters away from the gonorrhea-positive crackwhore, staring at the mountain of tampons. I point to one item and ask if that was a douche. She says no. I then point to another. She also says no. I continue aimlessly pointing at random items. No, she says "that's for periods." Periods? Ha! I don't even fully understand what that is either.

Speaking of Douches. According to my blog, douches are people who think taking pictures of themselves nude or while doing the nasty nasty is fun. It really isn't when your pictures get leaked. The only person who seems to have benefited from this kind of exposure is Paris Hilton. Not even Rick Salomon (the one featured in the video with her). Who knows why? In recent news, Edison Chen, an extremely popular Hong Kong artist/actor went to get his Mac fixed. The stupid douche inside of himself forgot to delete those pictures he took with other extremely popular Hong Kong stars (a lot of them). Pictures, of course, being all nudies and during acts of sexual sins. All this time, I thought these Hong Kong artists didn't even know how to perform these positions, and yet they actually do--go figure. So instead of being featured in his own Simple Life reality TV show, Edison is getting threatened by Hong Kong gangsters and mobsters. The innocent Hong Kong image is forever tainted and the business is losing money. They want Edison killed! Poor guy. Over the weekend, Edison chose to step away from the entertainment industry for an indefinite amount of time to pursue more charity work. Wow, he's starting to sound like a Chinese Paris Hilton. Who the hell would want any of those two working with charities? Go douche yourself...Was that right? Did I finally use "douche" correctly?

[pictures courtesy of Summer's Eve and Google Images]

Nineteenth Going on Twenty

Climbing up walls in Yaletown.

It's been a whole two weeks since I've updated my blog. I really wanted to write something sooner, but nothing was coming out of my peanut brain. Still nothing. Last week was quite an eventful week. Not only did my friends and I celebrate four birthdays, embarrass myself in front of advertising executives, but I also found my dream job...hmm, a few steps closer to reaching Something BIG! perhaps? Today, I'm just going to share with you all the pictures we took on Tuesday. It's pretty amazing. To express the love my friends and I have for Polaroids, here are some we took last night. Some of them are form my phone as well. Enjoy this gigantic picture post.

On Friday, I walked passed my elementary school and saw a class of kids running around the soccer field. They were playing soccer. Just as I walked passed the goalpost, one of the kids kicked the ball and in it went. I cheered and clapped at the boy as he was jumping up and down in excitement. The little girl (who was the goalie) just stood there in embarrassment. One of her teammates walked up to her and said, "Why did you let it in? We lost because of you. I hate you!". So much hate at such a young age. Too great.

Late night coffee at Cafe Crepe.

Rolling...ACTION!

Last night I got a call from my background-performing agent, Krista. She asked if I was available for a job today. It was a commercial for Tourism British Columbia. It's basically a promotional video to invite people to visit B.C.--specifically aiming towards the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. I agreed to the job.

This morning, I get up early and leave the house early. Knowing my horrible sense of direction (even with map in my hand), I was going to get lost. The first two steps of direction that I got was easy: Bus to the train station and take the sky-train to another station. I got lost (Shocking!). I decided I would follow these two people on the streets (randomly). This one girl was in her twenties. Well dressed, nice blonde hair. Beside her was an older man. I knew they were extras, you can just tell. So I follow them four streets down until the man says to the girl, "Bye, see you later", and walks across the street. I stand there staring at the girl. Why would he walk off? I ask the girl if she was an extra for the commercial...she is not. She is a bartender and moved here a month ago from Russia. Shit! I walk into 7-11 to ask for directions. The man directs me a couple blocks down. I walk past another guy and he says the same thing. I walk into Subway, "Do you know where Mainland street is". A young employee, who I shall name Death (because her face resembles the word) says, "Mainland?...We...are...on...Mainland". I couldn't hear past her thick Indian accent, so I ask again to confirm.

"This is Mainland?"
"........Yes".

It took her five minutes to reply to my questions.

The meeting area was at a Starbucks. I get there and see a lady sitting outside with a laptop. It was obvious she was my contact person. No doubt about it. I walk up to her as she stares at me.

"Hi, is this where we're shooting the commercial?"

"The what?"

"The commercial...Not here?"

"What? No."

I go into Starbucks embarrassed. At that time I was thinking to myself why I keep assuming everyone on the street are in the film industry. Everyone looks like they belong in a movie set for some reason today. I ask one of the baristas and he says he knows nothing about a commercial. I was pissed off. I go crazy and page my agent. She calls me back and as I am on the phone complaining about how there is no signage and no contact person, one of the guys sitting by the side says, "Hello?! Over here...I'm Nathan". Turns out they moved locations down the street where there was more sun. They still should have had signs for idiots like myself.

It was a very short job. There were four extras in total and only seven crew members. Everyone was really cool. I only worked two hours, though. That was the only sucky part. I went along downtown to do some shopping...I somehow managed to spend $100 buying a t-shirt, a bag, a few Starbucks drinks and another spiritual book by Deepak. A well spent day. What a random blog entry.

Polamania!

Shiz No! I just read on Perez Hilton about the killing of Polaroid film and cameras (the instant kind). Why? I love Polaroids. If you remember, I wrote a few posts about Polaroids in the past. I guess it's just too expensive to produce and buy. Damn, Jeremy Kost is going to have a riot! Even cool casting directors like COACD are switching to digital cameras now. I mean, it definitely saves money. The film is really expensive. It's around $1 for every picture and you never know how your picture might turn out. I know when my friends and I had our Polaroid fun this past summer we threw away at least $10 worth of pictures that were over/underexposed in lighting.

The feeling I have right now is how I felt this past weekend. We had our "Eat 10 Burgers" challenge and I only managed to eat six. I then continually tried to puke the burgers out because I know having all that in my system would not be healthy. Nothing came out. I then took a laxative hoping to flush out my system the next morning when I make my doo-doo. I then tried (once again) to puke again after I took the laxative (why? I don't know). I then puked out my laxative--and not the burgers. Which meant I ingested six McDonald's Junior Chickens and it will probably rot in my system forever.

Related Links to Polaroid: Polaroid Hunger..., Breakups + Pregger Teens + Denial + Polaroids = Fun, and Dorks

[pictures courtesy of RoidRage (via Fashionista) and COACD]

Idiot.

I haven't been updating that frequently lately, it's because I'm lazy. I found this picture of Hobo Jobo in my computer just now and thought I should share it with you all once again.

Coffeeholics Unite!

Geoff in the background reminiscing about the first time he enjoyed his first coffee. Love.

Have any of you tried to quit something you enjoy doing? Smoking, eating, watching too much TV? There's got to be those withdrawal symptoms. The shakes, the crankiness, the headaches...oh god, those headaches. For the past couple of weeks, I've been brewing coffee more than the Starbucks that Britney frequents. Everyday, I would make a pot and then finish it. I am not necessarily addicted to coffee, but I certainly enjoy the warm, nutty liquid. So that's about four cups daily. Lately, I decided I'll cut down on the coffee. I told myself I would limit to one cup everyday. Slowly, I will cut back and sip green tea. Why green tea? I don't know--because it has less caffeine and supposedly "does the body good." Wait, isn't that the Milk slogan?...DSKSDGHSDFJ RANDOM. Anyways, the idiot within me bought decaffeinated green tea. You would think it's good since I'm cutting down on caffeine, but really it's not. I'm basically going cold turkey! Oh, hold me through my cold sweats.

I decided to check out some articles online to help abide to my "addiction". I found this article called 8 Tips To Fighting Addiction. Great. The steps were clearly outlined and sounds easy enough that even Britney could handle. Geez, what's with my addiction to Britney these days? I meshed the first two steps together because they were basically the same. Regain Power and Look to Faith. Now, I do believe I have the power to stay away from Starbucks or the power to resist sniffing my Folgers can, but looking to faith wasn't necessary, right? I did it anyways--not in a religious way, but more so in a spiritual, zen, energy healing kind of way. I've been reading these books that all my friends feel are a crock of shiz. But whatever, when I can instantly heal zits off my face, let's see who's laughing now, you pimple covered adolescences! Third step! Make a Life Change. I think I've started that journey recently as well. Check. Next step. Fourth step and seventh step are going to be blended together, as well. Take Inventory and Explore Your Feelings. It means to let out your secret and admit to your addiction. I think writing this blog shows I'm admitting my dirty little secret. I'm also exploring how I'm feeling--it's a feeling of emptiness. The emptiness I feel when I look into my mug to see a murky cup of green tea. Yuck!

Man, can these steps get any easier? Inform me when it's time for the next step. I'm off to Starbucks for a pit stop.

Jessica and Donna acting like idiots...as usual.

Fifth step! I'm going to blend five and six together just because it's ridiculously stupid. Seek Help and Involve Your Family. I'm not going to attend some group called Coffeeholics Anonymous to discuss some twelve step program. But I did tell my family I'm cutting down on the coffee and that they should support me. After a thorough understanding, we had an agreement. I was quite happy that we had a heart-to-heart. It was touching, really. I woke up one morning from my groggy sleep. Headache at full force. *Sniff* Coffee? Coffee was brewing! And then I get home that night from an already frustrating day and I see Venti Starbucks cups scattered around the kitchen. Thanks family!

Step Eight. Acupuncture. No.

Alright. Done. Through the multi-blended steps I took and the greatful help I got from my friends and family, I've managed to slow my intake of coffee. Withdrawal symptoms seem to have subsided and I'm back to my happy self. Wow. I guess these eight tips actually worked.

...excuse me as warm up my Grande Americano.

[pictures courtesy of Donna Ng]

Britney Is A Cow

Are any of you keeping up with the "Britney kerfuffle"? It's a mad house, that subject. I stopped reading about her when she started to lug around Adnan Ghalib. And then they threw in more people into the equation like, some guys named Sam and Osama, her parents and her kids--WAIT! Britney has kids? TWO OF THEM? Someone needs to inform Britney! She doesn't know she has kids--let alone ballooned to a cow for a total of 20 months. That explains so much. I wonder how she's dealing with it. I bet you she doesn't even understand what's happening.

"Huh? Jamie-Lynn's pregnant? Bitch, I bet ya it's Kevin's, ya'll".

[pictures courtesy of Harper's Bazaar]

Something BIG!

It's Febuary! I need to do something big! With all this time I have right now, it's the perfect opportunity for me to create changes and chase after dreams. I'm so sick of sitting here reading all these books about positive thinking and being a brighter person (to lead a successful life) when I'm not even taking action. Yes, I do believe in what I'm reading, but I also believe I need to work those magic hands of mine and get myself to do something big! Whether it's improving my blog, getting an awesome job or something that will wow myself. Recently, my friend was offered a job in Toronto to become a production assistant/coordinator for a clothing company. That's amazing. Amazing! She's chasing after her dreams. Chasing after dreams--something we should all be doing...Every.Day.

Lately, I've been thinking of things to do that will relate to my career in the future. One of the coolest things would probably have to be being sent away to New York to work with some hip modeling agency, casting director, or photographer. I'm not into fashion precisely, but more so into the entertainment side. I enjoy acting (as I've mentioned on my last post), casual writing, the marketing & advertising world, and I also enjoy being in the loud hustle and bustle. (I know, the four things I just listed does not give you any idea of what I want to do.) Working backstage at fashion week would be cool (since NY Fashion Week starts today). Covering backstage, running around NY, jumping from show to show. I can't imagine the fulfillment I will feel at the end of each day having done a day's worth of errands and tasks. My soul thrives off these days when I have them. Usually, when I have these days, they're small menial tasks like, "meeting with professor", "getting a haircut", "deposit money into bank", and "pick up a present". But at the end of the day, I feel like I've accomplished so much. Just imagine how much more I would feel if the tasks I am doing actually meant something. Something that I cared for and am passionate about. How rewarding would each day be? Damn, I'd be the perfect slave intern...

Another one of my dream jobs would have to be working for Donald Trump. I can't explain it. Every task on that show is an advertising/marketing task. Every single one of them. I love The Apprentice. As low as the ratings are, I enjoy watching that show so much and would probably rock every task I was given. Not to mention how rough and dirty I'd be in that boardroom. I've learned so much from that show. As douchey as The Donald is, he's still my idol.

I just don't think I can sit around. It's February and I practically wasted a third of my semester daydreaming. It's a new month, I feel motivated and positive. I want to do something exciting. Remember in the first season of The Hills? As much flack as Heidi Montag gets for her fake chesticles and her lips of steel, I still feel during the first season, she went after her dreams by quitting school and going after Brent Bolthouse for that job at Bolthouse Productions. Hey, it may sound stupid, but like she said, "I've always wanted to become that fun P.R. girl at all the parties". Aside from being a celebuspawn, she is a fun P.R. girl at all the parties.

As I'm writing this, I'm already starting to feel doubtful and worried about how I'm going to create these changes. I'll find a way. There! I said it...it's on my blog and for all you blog readers our there! It's my word to you all. If you don't hear any exciting changes within another two to three months, I give you all the right to heckle. I also allow you all to follow your own dreams and to give yourselves a goal for the next 2-3 months. Sempre fi!

[pictures courtesy of Women, COACD, The Sartorialist, NBC, MTV and stock.xchng]