TAGGEDDD!

Woo hoo! I got tagged for one of those crazy surveys. I haven't been tagged before, and I have to say, I'm quite flattered that one of my lovely blog friends, Adele from Adele Joanna, thought of me to do one of these stupid lists. I'm excited, really.

Rules of the Game:
1. Link the person who tagged you.
2. Mention the rules in your blog.
3. Tell about 6 unspectacular quirks of yours.

4. Tag 6 following bloggers by linking them.

5. Leave a comment on each of the tagged bloggers' blogs letting them know they've been tagged.

I've had some trouble trying to find six unspectacular quirks about me. Six spectacular quirks, on the other hand, there's plenty. Since this is a personal blog, the things I'm about to tell you aren't all that surprising...or interesting...or unspectacular. Alright, ready?

1) I drink my 8-10 glasses of water every day. I've been doing it since I was 15 years old and thought it would be a good idea to start lubricating all the internal tubes and I've been doing it ever since then. I know, I know, drinking too much water isn't good for you -- you can dilute all the electrolytes in your body and thus fall into a coma and forever be brain-dead. But 2-3 litres of water a day isn't all that bad. There's a lot of studies questioning the 8-10 glass rule because a lot of your water intake already comes from the foods you eat. I also drink four cups of coffee a day and since coffee is a diuretic (some may also say it isn't), everything cancels out and therefore I'd have to drink 12 glasses of water in total in order to make up for the four cups lost in the flushing of my system. Strange, I know. After writing this, I'm even starting to question if I should be drinking that much water...You're right, I should switch to vodka instead.

[BREAK TIME: Alright, is this list getting boring? Did you even make it past the first sentence? If you did, please continue then.]

2) I'm a part-time whore. A "gigolo" as some may say. We don't really like to be labeled but if that's the easiest way to differentiate us from mere mortals, so be it. I've been whoring (labeling again) myself for about 11 years now. It started off rough. No one really wanted to hop onto this Asian excursion. But as I hit a growth spurt (if you know what I mean), the clients came rolling in. My job comes easily now. I leave my advertisements in a few local papers attached with a link to my other website (which includes pictures and measurements), and every day and night, I work harder than Britney Spears' publicist.

3) I fight crime. I can't say much about this "unspectacular quirk" of mine, or else I'd probably have to delete this blog and hibernate. I'm about 85 pounds overweight and when this job requires me to chase, jump into my Bat-Mobile or use my arm strength to throw batarangs, I usually regret getting into this career in the first place. But there's a big sense of accomplishment when the task is complete and the criminal is locked up. Yes, my life is a giant contradiction. I stand on one side of the law by whoring myself, and fight crime on the other. But hey, contradiction is the new procrastination, but it's not, but it is, but it's not, but it is...

4) I produce body butter. Yes, the creamy, frothy, greasy lotion that some may use to battle that shocking winter cold or the drying summer heat. Whether it's raspberry truffle, cocoa coconuts or banana cream pudding, we are the guys you want to be buying the tubs of fat from. Three years ago, I developed a strange rash that initially started at my groin area. It then creeped to my backside and eventually covered my whole body -- A full-on body rash (and no, it wasn't an STI given by one of my clients). It wasn't hives, it wasn't eczema and it wasn't psoriasis. It was just a case of extremely dry skin. Dry skin so bad that I had to bathe in oil and butter to stop my skin from cracking, falling off and exposing my internal organs. As I bathed one day, I decided to add my own special concoction of ingredients: nutmeg and cayenne pepper (along with the oil and butter). In a few hours my skin was as smooth as a baby's bottom. Rash was gone and redness subsided. I captured the essence of my mixture in a little bottle. For the next year, I sat alone in my laboratory (which consists of my seventh grade science kit that I bought off Scholastic and my reading lamp). I wrote down all of the ingredients and sent them off to a manufacturing company. I paid off most of the overhead costs with my gigolo salary. Now, I've developed one of the greatest moisturizing products of all. Jacky's Jacking Body Butter®. We should really rename it because it's an all purpose moisturizer and not just body butter. You can use it to lube up squeaky doors, melt it and use it in your vehicle in place of oil, eat it, you can even wash you hair with it. But the main use of this product is to be applied onto your bare skin. With it's intense moisturizing quality, it forms a protective barrier warding off any uncomplimentary elements in our atmosphere.

[Warning: Make sure your rinse off Jacky's Jackin Body Butter® after three minutes of application. We shall not be held accountable for any further rashes or blemishes that may occur in the usage of this product. Anyone allergic to rat poison should not test, use, or be near this product. Please use Jacky's Jacking Body Butter® in a well ventilated area.]

5) I am a huge Miley Cyrus fan. I just can't get enough of her. Whatever she does just amazes me. Whether it's starring in a sex tape with Rick Salomon, or going to rehab for alcoholism, I genuinely have feelings for Miley. Even when she was at her lowest singing "Gimme More" at the MTV Video Music Awards, and everybody awas laughing and booing her, I was proud. I was proud that she stepped out of her sister Jessica's shadow and allowed her father, Joe to take over. Nothing is more attractive than a girl who has a great relationship with her family. What about that time she drove on the wrong side of the road after taking vicodin? Wow. Those were some rough times. But now she's back in the game and reattaching those fallen hair tracks, sucking unpleasant body fat out of her behind and rehearsing her songs at a local karaoke bar, you can't help but smile and be grateful that this star was born and you were alive to experience it. You go, Miley!

6) I eat an apple a day to keep the doctor away. Sometimes two to keep monsters away from my bed. Mommy said they won't come if I ate my vegetables because they're afraid of pesticides.

So there you have it! Six unspectacular quirks about me. You can see that I gave up at number six. It's alright.
Part of the rules of this game is to tag six other bloggers to do this dumbass list. I'm looking through my circle of blog friends (there's not many) and the people that would most likely do something like this would be:

Ane from Unrealized Fish,
Elisabeth from Wine Glass Logistics,
Gorilla from the japing ape,
Haroon from .:Euphoric:.,
Sofiee from Play in my world, and lastly,
Yetunde from Lover of Life.

Do it or don't do it, it's your choice. If I didn't tag you and you would like to partake in this absolute-waste-of-time-list, please feel free to do so. Heck, do it and leave it in my comments.